The porch at the Durham Shambhala center has nice porch furniture, a flowering vine, and a view of the small front garden and Rutherford Street. Across the street an identical bungalow, worn of paint, apparently vacant, but clean, stares back at me and invites my imagination to fix it up and plant a few things. The 7:00am "Early Bird" open sitting on Wednesday mornings was apparently a figment, for no one had appeared, except for the parade of Duke U. Hospital employees who continually walked by to the bus stop just a few yards away. Seeing me on the porch many of them smiled and waved politely. I wondered if the Durham Shambhala folks had ever though of having a schill sitting on the porch tempting people to stop by on their way home in the afternoon.
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| Durham Shambhala |
My mind wasn't settling very well but that was to be expected. I had been driving for days and hadn't experienced the stillness of meditation since Saturday in Washington. The beach campgrounds are exposed to sun and wind, both of which wear on me. It was difficult to be outside for long, so I avoided sitting at the picnic table in my campground. The search for a sheltered place led me the familiar - coffee houses and restaurants - rather than woods, so I could use internet and update entries. I am used to my comforts, but in the end they weren't conducive to accomplishing much either contemplatively or productively. Writing and meditation seem to require me to be away from people, not among them.
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| Oregon Inlet beach, NC |
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| Morning View coffee, Kitty Hawk NC |
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| Inside Morning brew |
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| Sam & Omie's, Nags Head restaurant in it's original location since 1937 |
I left the Outer Banks Tuesday around 2:00 for Kathy & Jerry's in Creedmoor, a 4 hour drive by US highway 64, flat coastal plain lined most of the way with tall trees and few interruptions. Dinner with two families beckoned; I only paused at Mackey's Peanuts, a home for fudge, nuts, boiled peanuts, and firearms.
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| Mackey's, Jamesville, NC |
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| Mackey's mmmmmnuts |
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Dinner with everyone Tuesday was a simple affair but pivotal as it was my first time taking out the box of Mom's albums and scrapbook and sharing her old pictures of her and our ancestors, and family lore. Carol says this gives her a new perspective on Mom. I admit it's what I hope for, as Mom's estrangements from my half-sisters has been a puzzle for all of us, and we each have different pieces. There are a lot of mysteries about our Mom that we have yet to unravel, which were completely impenetrable when she was alive because she wouldn't, perhaps couldn't talk much about the past. I know she was a good-hearted person who cared deeply about people, even though she was not outwardly engaged or skillful in how she maintained relationships. It's partly my aspiration that visiting my half-sisters and sharing something of her life through images and stories we all might settle the unknowns to some peaceful end.
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Phelps Court houses, Creedmoor, NC, Dawn
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This week started with Father's Day on the Outer Banks and ended with my 45th birthday in Creedmoor. On Wednesday afternoon, after the porch meditation in Durham and a stop at Joe Van Gogh for coffee and writing I returned to Creedmoor and hung around the house with Kathy, my niece's new baby Sirius, and my nephew Nick. Nick spent most of his time in his room working on his music interests or sleeping - he works the night shift at the local BJ's. Kathy and I spent the afternoon playing with the baby, the rat terrier Finn, and catching up on the last several months. Then Finn found half a dark chocolate bar I'd forgotten was in my handbag and ate it. Being only 16 lbs, this was a problem. Kathy had to run out to the Rite Aid for Hydrogen Peroxide to force the dog to throw it up. I was embarrassed I'd not thought to clear out the bag before leaving it on the floor. It's the kind of fog I've been in.
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| Joe Van Gogh coffee, Broad Street, Durham |
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| Kathy & me |
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| Finn, chocolate eater and Mr. Bill fan |
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Sirius and his Uncle Nick
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I explored some of the Falls Lake recreational parkland over the course of the week, trying to clear my fatigue. Of the several different sections of the park, my favorites are the trailheads you can access without paying any park fees - these are dotted on every road that crosses the lake. Anywhere there was a water crossing, you could find a pull-off on either end where a path would lead down to the lake and often to a branch of the NC Mountains-to-sea trail, which starts in Asheville and eventually will end on the Outer Banks. Unfortunately one other common sight in North Carolina is the litter - anywhere there is a pull-off, there is an area by the water where fishing in a beautiful place does not preclude leaving behind whatever wrappers, cans, tins, papers, etc. one no longer needs.
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| Falls Lake, Creedmoor, NC |
I found one such place, slightly less sullied than some, and did my annual birthday practice, a short liturgy called The Elixir of Life which uses the Four Reminders of Buddhism to re-inspire dedication to living and practicing towards awakenment. Human birth is precious but existence is always changing; death is inevitable and comes without warning; all of our actions have inconceivable consequences (karma), Samsara is endless (the mindless cycling of lifetime after lifetime looking for happiness through non-virtuous means). It's a beautifully written practice. I found myself able to connect with the words, and occasionally the meaning raised some appreciation in my heart for the journey I am now on. But I longed for a practice environment my mind couldn't have any doubt about. Practice on the spot of wherever I find myself is proving to be difficult.
I stopped by the Lyons Pick-your-own farm on Munns road near Creedmoor and wandered into the fields of blueberry bushes at the back of the farm, waving back at the Mexican farm hands in floppy straw hats picking vegetables in the rows. There are few places like this around down here - many of the farms surrounding this area are dormant tobacco farms, one or two raising horses or hay. The area is flowering meadows and old "bacca barns" interspersed with new house developments. The population of the R-D area has been growing rapidly the last decade or so. All around farm acreage is for sale.
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| Lyons Pick your own berries & vegetables. |
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| Lyons farm security mannequin |
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| 'bacca barn, Munn's Rd |
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| 'bacca barn, Boyce Rd |
We made a field trip a few turns from Kathy's at Cedar Creek Gallery - a home to several artists working in pottery, glassblowing, textiles, wood, and jewelry for 30 years. The grounds are quiet and lovely, full of gardens and converted 'bacca barns, and we were able to watch one of the glassblowers in residence there while he worked on a vase. Much of the work for sale in the gallery/shop is from artists in North Carolina, but they also represent similar artists from throughout the country. There were many fine things and we found a mug that's serving as my camp cup from here on.
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| Cedar Creek |
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| Matt working on a vase at Cedar Creek |
Kathy and I spent Saturday morning working on ancestor research, reconciling some of the old photographs I have with the names she has in the family chart. Then I left for the other side of town so to speak - Fuquay-Varina, where my cousin (my Dad's niece) lives, and a whole other family tree is rooted.
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| Me and Sirius, not quite awake yet. |
