Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Starting Off


Off from Spencertown to Philadelphia via Riverdale. REI and the USPS conspired to make me stop and get my camping stove at my old apartment building. No point in grumbling, but given my late start I won't be able to visit my grandparents old street in Trenton on this trip before heading to West philly for dinner.

Bye
The last two days I didn't relax or recharge much at all, too busy just finishing up bookkeeping and paperwork and getting responses about places to stay and it was just endless and I can't figure out why there was so much to do.  It was maddening.  Monday when I left KCL I had such a chatty day saying good bye and debriefing, didn't step away for an hour to walk or meditate. Chatty when I got to spencertown because Irene was there and we were catching up. I didn't practice...  Minute I was up in the AM I was doing doing doing, calling people, running to chatham and the post office and back and forth to the back house, car, etc.  I was up to 1:30am last night just figuring out the routes and how long it will take me to get place to place…since Kathy is taking days off to spend with me and needed an arrival time, which is impossible on a road trip.  I finally sat and practiced today at 1:45 just before leaving.  Felt essential and it cleared the irritation.  In part of the practice I'm doing we place awareness on feeling.  I saw the resistance I have to being put on a schedule, as well as driving into cities with a loaded car and parking it there.  I don't want to be constantly calculating my arrival dates from place to place.  And I realize I am disinclined to spend any time in cities on this trip because I feel so encumbered with things I can't afford to lose, I'll be hyper-aware of where Jewel Song is parked when I'm not in her. 

"downtown" Spencertown
I can see the Catskills from Rigor Hill Rd.  It's been raining and raining.  Sun just came out for about an hour.  Chasing sun spots gliding along the Taconic as the clouds move across the sky. All the different colored grasses shimmering in the breeze and sunlight.  Everything is radiant.  Flat-bottom clouds ahead hanging over the Fishkill ridge. Love driving on days like today. The car feels as if it flies through space.  I can't believe I'm actually on my way.  Such a weird feeling to think I'm not going to be sleeping in a familiar bed for a long, long time. 11 weeks on the road. its exciting to be on the road, to be on my way to see new things, and people.  Except the city thing - not looking forward to that…I could have going straight down the coast to Delaware ...I feel a tug though not to miss these old haunts and old friends.



Traveling in Dhaka, Bangladesh, 2002
Remembering when I came back from Bangladesh in 2002 having had that unnerving experience feeling like the whole world I'd known in NY was just a figment of my imagination.  It's a feeling I haven't had for a while.  The conrast, the vividness of Dhaka was so impressive that you could feel nauseated, the severity of dis-connection is strong, so unfamiliar to a Westerner, you feel like you've landed on a different planet.  And the distance covered to get there which seems to erase whatever might have existed where you were when you left.  So when I left E's house I actually took a picture when I was pulling out of the driveway.  The next time I see that house will be at the end of August--I wonder if it's still there, even now, 20 miles down the road.   You're only really able to know what's right in front of you, the present.

The Taconic Parkway